Tagged: laughter

laugh of the day

Why is great to be old
1Kidnappers are not very
Interested in you.
In a hostage situation,
You are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run —
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
‘Did I wake you?’
People no longer view you as a
There is nothing left
To learn the hard way.
Things you buy now
Won’t wear out.
You can eat
Supper at 4 PM.
You can live without sex
But not your glasses.
You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.
You no longer think of speed limits
As a challenge..
You quit trying to hold
Your stomach in no matter who walks
Into the room.
You sing along
With elevator music.
Your eyes won’t get
Much worse.
Your investment in health insurance
Is finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
Than the national weather service.
Your secrets are safe with your friends
Because they can’t remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
A manageable size.
You can’t remember
Who sent you this list.

laugh for the day

Your smile of the day……
I’d Love to Be Six Again
A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear–everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie – the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and MandMs. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being six again?”
One eye opened. The wife said, “You idiot, I meant my dress size!”
The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.